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I think that if you look back now to your attitude towards you mother’s income, and your attitude towards my income, you will not feel proud of yourself, and perhaps you may some day, if you don’t show your mother this letter, explain to her that your living on me was a matter in which my wishes were not consulted for a moment. It was simply a peculiar, and to me personally most distressing, form that your devotion to me took. To make yourself dependent on me for the smallest as well as the largest sums lent you in your own eyes all the charm of childhood, and in the insisting on my paying for every one of your pleasures you thought that you had found the secret of eternal youth[151a]. I confess that it pains me when I hear of your mother’s remarks about me, and I am sure that on reflection you will agree with me that if she has no word of regret or sorrow for the ruin your race has brought on mine it would be better if she remained silent[151b]. Of course there is no reason she should see any portion of this letter that refers to any mental development I have been going through, or to any point of departure I hope to attain to. It would not be interesting to her. But the parts concerned purely with your life I should show her if I were you.
我想，如果你现在回顾一下你怎么看待你母亲的收入，以及怎么看待我的收入，你不会觉得脸上有多少光彩的；假如你不把这封信拿给你母亲看的话，那或许有一天会向她解释，你花我的钱，可从来就没问过我愿不愿意给你钱。这不过是你用来向我表示专一不二而采用的一种不伦不类的方式罢了，对我个人来说是可悲可恼之极。大钱小钱的全找我要，你自己看着好像小孩般的天真可爱，你的玩和乐，样样硬要我付钱，你以为是找着了永远不用长大的秘密[151a]。坦白说，听你母亲把我说成那样我很懊恼，我相信反省一下你就会同意我说的，你们家给我们家带来的祸患，对此她要是没有遗憾或悲哀的话好说，那还是免开尊口为好[151b]。当然，没有理由要她看这封信中任何谈到我所经历的任何心理演变、或希望达致的任何人生新起点的那些部分。这些对她不会有什么意思。但假如我是你的话，就要把那些纯粹同你的生活有关的部分拿给她看。
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