62
I must say to myself that neither you nor your father, multiplied a thousand times over, could possibly have ruined a man like me: that I ruined myself: and that nobody, great or small, can be ruined except by his own hand[62a]. I am quite ready to do so. I am trying to do so, though you may not think it at the present moment. If I have brought this pitiless indictment against you, think what an indictment I bring without pity against myself. Terrible as what you did to me was, what I did to myself was far more terrible still.
我必须告诉自己，不管是你还是你父亲，即使再强大千百倍，也不可能摧毁一个像我这样的人；是我自己毁了自己——不管是大人物还是小人物，如果不是自己毁自己，别人谁也毁不了的[62a]。我很愿意这么对自己说，正下决心这么对自己说，虽然你这时可能没这么想。假如我这么无情地谴责过你，想想我又是多么无情地谴责了自己。你对我做的一切已够可怕了，我对自己做的则更为可怕。
62