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Does it ever occur to you what an awful position I would have been in if for the last two years, during my appalling sentence, I had been dependent on you as a friend? Do you ever think of that? Do you ever feel any gratitude to those who by kindness without stint, devotion without limit, cheerfulness and joy in giving, have lightened my black burden for me[144a], have visited me again and again, have written to me beautiful and sympathetic letters, have managed my affairs for me, have arranged my future life for me, have stood by me in the teeth of obloquy, taunt, open sneer or insult even? [144b] I thank God every day that he gave me friends other than you. I owe everything to them. The very books in my cell are paid for by Robbie out of his pocket-money. From the same source are to come clothes for me, when I am released. I am not ashamed of taking a thing that is given by love and affection. I am proud of it. But do you ever think of what my friends such as More Adey, Robbie, Robert Sherard, Frank Harris, and Arthur Clifton,[144.1] have been to me in giving me comfort, help, affection, sympathy and the like[144c]? I suppose that has never dawned on you. And yet —if you had any imagination in you—you would know that there is not a single person who has been kind to me in my prison-life, down to the warder who may give me a good-morning or a good-night that is not one of his prescribed duties—down to the common policemen who in their homely rough way strove to comfort me on my journeys to and fro from the Bankruptcy Court under conditions of terrible mental distress—down to the poor thief who, recognising me as we tramped round the yard at Wandsworth, whispered to me in the hoarse prison-voice men get from long and compulsory silence: “I am sorry for you; it is harder for the likes of you than it is for the likes of us”—not one of them all, I say, the very mire from whose shoes you should not be proud to be allowed to kneel down and clean[144d].
不知你到底想过没有，过去两年，在我苦刑加身期间，要是把你当作朋友倚靠，那境况会有多么糟糕？这一点你到底想过没有？对那些人，不知你从来有过一丝感激之情没有？他们毫不吝啬自己的善意，为朋友竭尽全力，以付出为乐以给予为喜，为我减轻了那郁郁不可终日的重负[144a]，一次又一次地来看我，写给我美好动听、充满同情的信，为我操持有关事务，安排未来的生活，甚至在我为千夫所指、被万人唾骂之时，他们与我并肩而立[144b]。每一天我都感谢上帝，给了我那些除你以外的朋友。一点一滴我都得感谢他们。就连我牢房里的书，也都是罗比用他的零花钱买的。出狱时，我的衣服也将由他提供。一件东西，如果是出于爱和关心给我的，那我受之无愧。我以此为荣。但你想过没有，这些朋友，比如穆尔?艾狄、罗比、罗伯特?舍拉德、福兰克?哈利斯、还有阿瑟?克里福顿，他们给我安慰、帮助、关爱、同情等等，这些人对我都意味着什么[144c]？我猜想你根本就没明白过。然而——假如你还有一丁点想象力的话——你会懂得，在我囚禁生活中对我好的每一个人，下至在例行公务之外向我道一声“早安”或“晚安”的狱吏——下至普普通通的警察，在我心烦意乱被带着来回奔忙于破产法庭的途中，他们以那种朴实的、粗线条的方式尽力想安慰我——下至那个可怜的盗贼，当我们在瓦兹华斯院子里走步放风时，他认出我来，便用狱中人那长期被迫沉默而落下的沙哑嗓音，轻声对我说：“我替你难过，这日子对你们这种人比对我们要更难熬啊。” ——我说，这些人一个个，要是允许你跪下来给他们擦去鞋上的污泥，你都该觉得脸上有光才是[144d]。
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