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And what is true of a bankrupt is true of everyone else in life. For every single thing that is done someone has to pay. Even you yourself—with all your desire for absolute freedom from all duties, your insistence on having everything supplied to you by others, your attempts to reject any claim on your affection, or regard, or gratitude—even you will have some day to reflect seriously on what you have done, and try, however unavailingly, to make some attempt at atonement. The fact that you will not be able really to do so will be part of your punishment. You can’t wash your hands of all responsibility, and propose with a shrug or a smile to pass on to a new friend and a freshly spread feast[163a]. You can’t treat all that you have brought upon me as a sentimental reminiscence to be served up occasionally with the cigarettes and liqueurs, a picturesque background to a modem life of pleasure like an old tapestry hung in a common inn[163b]. It may for the moment have the charm of a new sauce or a fresh vintage, but the scraps of a banquet grow stale, and the dregs of a bottle are bitter. Either today, or tomorrow, or some day you have got to realise it. Otherwise you may die without having done so, and then what a mean, starved, unimaginative life you would have had. In my letter to More I have suggested one point of view from which you had better approach the subject as soon as possible. He will tell you what it is. To understand you will have to cultivate your imagination[163c]. Remember that imagination is the quality that enables one to see things and people in their real as in their ideal relations. If you cannot realise it by yourself talk to others on the subject. I have had to look at my past face to face. Look at your past face to face. Sit down quietly and consider it. The supreme vice is shallowness. Whatever is realised is right[163d]. Talk to you brother about it. Indeed the proper person to talk to is Percy. Let him read this letter, and know all the circumstances of our friendship. When things are clearly put before him, no judgment is better. Had we told him the truth, what a lot would have been saved to me of suffering and disgrace! You remember I proposed to do so, the night you arrived in London from Algiers. You absolutely refused. So when he came in after dinner we had to play the comedy of your father being an insane man subject to absurd and unaccountable delusions. It was a capital comedy while it lasted, none the less so because Percy took it all quite seriously. Unfortunately it ended in a very revolting manner. The subject on which I write now is one of its results, and if it be a trouble to you, pray do not forget that it is the deepest of my humiliations, and one I must go through[163e]. I have no option. You have none either.
生活中，破了产的是这样，没破产的个个也是这样。不管做了什么，到头来每一样总得偿还的。即使你本人也不例外——不管你怎样想着要绝对的自由，一点不受责任的约束，硬要别人为你提供一切，而要你报以关爱、尊敬或感激时又想统统回绝——即使你这样，有一天也会认真反思自己干下的事，而想要作出某种补偿，尽管到那时已是多么的于事无补。欠下了而无法偿还，这将是你的部分惩罚。你无法脱卸自己的责任，耸耸肩，或笑一笑，说要去再找一个朋友，再找一桌新开的酒席[163a]。你不能把给我造成的一切当作一种怀旧的幽思，偶尔端出来就着香烟和美酒品尝一番，也不能拿这一切作为一种画面背景，为一种现代的享乐生活作陪衬，有如廉价小旅店墙上的旧挂毯[163b]。一时之间可能有换一种酱料或开一瓶新酒的新鲜感，但宴罢的剩菜会走味，瓶底的残酒是苦的。要么今天，要么明天，要么总有一天，你一定得领悟的。要不你就是至死不悟了，可那样的话你的生命又变得多么委琐、惨白、没有想象力啊。在给穆尔的信中我提出一个观点，建议你最好以此来探讨这一问题，越快越好。他会告诉你是个什么观点。要明白个中道理你得好好培养想象力[163c]。记住想象是使人得以既从其理想关系也从其真实关系来理解世事和世人的能力。假如你一个人领悟不了，就找人谈谈。我已不得不与自己的过去直面相对过了。你也与自己的过去直面相视一下吧。静静地坐下来想想。恶大莫过于浮浅。无论什么，领悟了就是[163d]。跟你兄长谈谈吧。你该找的人的确就是珀西了。把这封信给他看，让他知道你我友谊的来龙去脉。事情清清楚楚摆出来后，那他的判断比谁都正确。要是我们早对他道出实情，那会免去我多少的痛苦和羞辱！你记得我提出过，那天晚上你刚从阿尔及尔回到伦敦。可你一口拒绝了。这样等他晚餐过后进来，我们只能演了一幕喜剧，说是你父亲疯了，脑子里尽是些荒唐可笑、子虚乌有的妄想幻象。只要不点破这可是个上好的喜剧，一点也不因为珀西很是拿它当真而有所失色。不幸的是收场太令人嫌恶了。我现在写的事情就是它的后果之一，假如这给你造成麻烦，请别忘了它给我带来了最为深重的耻辱，无从逃避的耻辱[163e]。我没有别的选择。你也没有。
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