Today is Sundy. I’m in the park. The park is big and clean.
There is an aviary in the park. There are many birds in the aviary. There is a plant house beside the aviary. There are some little trees, much grass and some flowers in the plant house. And I can see a pond near the plant house. There are three ducks in it. And there is a playground behind the pond. Many children are playing in th playground. Some boys are playing football. Some girls are flying kites.
I’m under the big tree. I am drawing the park. I am happy.
点评：本篇小短文出自一位四年级小朋友之手。文章没有华丽的修饰词；没有很难的语法知识，但文章思路清晰，层次清楚。首先，用短短的三句话介绍了时间、地点及公园的大概情况。然后用较大的篇幅；不同的句型介绍在公园里所见的人和事。最后，用刚学的进行时态介绍自己。